Always Been Mine Read online

  “And you’re not now?” Sal straightened up and took a sip of his drink. “Listen. If it were me, I’d talk to her.”

  Alex shook his head. “Ever since the tutor thing she’s made it impossible for me to get a hold of her. She won’t take my calls or return any messages.”

  “So, go see her at her place.”

  Alex stared not even attempting to hide his annoyance. “What do you think will happen, Sal, if I get there and that guy is there?”

  Sal seemed to reflect on that for a moment before saying, “Alright, not a good idea. Hmm…” He brought his fist to his mouth. “Let’s think. When’s the next wedding shindig? She’s gotta be there right?”

  “Yeah, but that’s not for another few weeks at the rehearsal dinner.”

  They threw a few ideas back and forth that would get Alex and Valerie in the same place, but came up with nothing. The biggest issue with whatever they came up with was—what if she brought her new man?

  Sal pulled his ringing cell phone out from his holster and answered. “Yeah, he’s here.” He mouthed Angel at Alex. “He wants to know why you’re not answering your damn phone, ass,” he chuckled.

  Alex patted his own holster and realized he’d left it in his truck.

  “He doesn’t have it on him. Why? You wanna talk to him?” Sal paused then looked up at Alex again. “Yeah, we’re gonna be here. Sure we’ll wait.”

  Sal hung up with a smug grin. “Looks like you’rr gonna get your chance to talk to Valerie.”

  “When?” Alex squeezed the glass in his hand.

  “Right now. Dad wants us to look over the offer for the property next door. She wrote it up already but before she sends it, Dad wants to make sure we’re okay with it. She was going to fax it, but Angel thought it’d be best if she went over it with us instead. He’s been trying to get a hold of you.”

  Right now? With a frown, Alex patted his holster again out of habit. If he hadn’t left it in his truck he might’ve had more time to prepare. He had no idea what he was going to say to her, but he damn sure wasn’t going to let her leave without telling her how he felt.

  *

  As if last night hadn’t been hard enough, Valerie had been a wreck all morning. She’d written up the offer for the property next door to Alex’s family’s restaurant. All she had to do was fax it. They had a fax machine at the restaurant—simple enough. But no nothing was ever that simple. Sarah had called her to tell her Mr. Moreno was requesting she go over it with him.

  She’d planned a peaceful Sunday. Rest all day; maybe get some painting done to get her mind off seeing Alex again. Last night had been even harder than seeing him at the shower. She did her best to appear impassive about their chance meeting. She thought Alex bought it, but she had a feeling Luke hadn’t. Alex’s rank departure had been anything but tactful. Her trivial explanation of him as an old friend was squashed when the guys kept going on and on about Bruce’s eye.

  Luke hadn’t asked a lot of questions. She knew he wouldn’t—not in front of them, that is. On the way home was a different story. Still, she kept the explanation of her relationship of Alex to a mere sentence: Alex is someone I went out with a long time ago. As for Bruce, she told Luke he was a guy she’d dated more recently who got rude tonight.

  Alex of course handled it as he always handled things.

  She hadn’t stopped fixating about why Alex had such a strong hold on her still when Sarah called. Sarah assured her Alex wouldn’t be at the Moreno family residence. Even so, her heart raced the whole way there. What if he showed up?

  For a moment, she actually thought she was home free. She’d gone over all the specifics, explained the offer in detail, and Alex hadn’t shown up. Then her worst nightmare happened. Mr. Moreno said he’d feel better if she could go over it with his son. She turned to Angel who’d been in and out of the kitchen the entire time and prayed he meant him. In the next moment Angel was on the phone, calling Alex.

  Sarah walked over and squeezed her shoulder, which only unnerved her more. She was relieved when Angel hadn’t been able to get a hold of him, although she did wonder what, but mostly who could be keeping him so busy he couldn’t answer his phone. He always kept it handy.

  So, when Angel set the phone down after speaking with Sal, to ask if she was okay driving to the restaurant her voice nearly squeaked, “Today?” She quickly cleared her voice and tried again. “Um, well, I wasn’t planning on-”

  “They’re both there, Sal and Alex. But they both can’t leave.”

  When she didn’t respond just bit her lip, Angel picked up the phone again. “Or I can call him back and tell him to just send Alex over, if that’s more convenient.”

  “No!” God no. Angel stared at her, confused. She glanced back at Mr. Moreno and forced a smile. “I mean, it’s easier if we go there. It’s on my way home.”

  She’d never survive being in such a private setting with Alex. It would be hard enough seeing him again, but at least in public it was safer. She still didn’t trust herself around him.

  On the torturous ride to the restaurant, she called Isabel who tried in vain to calm her. “I can’t do this.” Valerie’s voice almost trembled. She squeezed the steering wheel with both hands.

  Isabel’s voice came into her earpiece loud and clear. “Listen to me, hon. You can and you will. Remember what your dad always says: Everything happens for a reason. This is going to make you stronger. Every time you see him you’ll gain a little more control over your emotions around him. He’s just another guy. Remember that.”

  Oh, but he was so much more. This guy owned her heart and soul. Seeing him last night only confirmed that further. She drove into the parking lot of the restaurant, amazed at how different it looked. Sarah told her about the renovations, but she hadn’t expected this much of a change. The place was huge and they were going to expand even further?

  She took a deep breath hoping for some more words of comfort from Isabel. “All right, I’m here.”

  “Be strong, Valerie. You’re a professional. Go in there and do your thing as if he were any other client.”

  Sarah and Angel had driven there also. They parked and got out of the car giving Valerie little time to prepare herself. She stepped out of the car, upset that her legs felt so damned weak. Even though Sarah insisted she didn’t have to dress up, she was glad now she decided to wear a pant suit and do her hair anyway.

  Her stomach roiled wild with anxiety. The three of them walked in the front door. The renovations were amazing. Valerie stopped just inside the doorway, taking in the beauty of the restaurant. The family had never spared any expense on decorating, making it into one of La Jolla’s most breathtaking establishments. Elaborate archways like the ones you only saw in old Mexican movies or paintings separated the rooms. Multi-colored clay pots overflowing with bright flowers and shrubs adorned every corner and crevice.

  Painted murals of scenery from the old country covered the brick walls. As an artist, she could appreciate the amazing talent of whoever painted them. It must’ve taken months. One of them took up an entire wall. It was a portrait of an old Mexican town. The detail was astounding, from the mules that stood tied outside the quaint brick buildings to the children that played in the dirt road.

  They walked through one of the archways and into the bigger dining room she remembered so fondly. The place was packed. Sunday brunch was always like this. The delectable smell of spices and hand made tortillas brought back bittersweet memories. She shook them off and continued walking.

  Her eyes gazed incredibly at all the changes they made. All this in one year? It was unbelievable. Valerie was transfixed by another mural. This one was a close up of an old Mexican woman making corn tortillas by hand. Every detail, even of the wrinkles around her smiling eyes, was remarkable.

  Feminine giggling finally pulled her attention away from the mural. She turned to see Alex and one of the waitresses carrying on. His back was to her but it was plain as day. He was flirting, and the
girl ate it up.

  Immediately she was immersed in a blaze of jealousy. It infuriated her that after all this time she cared so much it hurt. But she needed this—a reminder of why she could not, would not allow him back in her life.

  “Alex you ready?”

  Alex spun around at the sound of Angel’s voice. Valerie stood tall. Alex turned back and said something to the waitress. The waitress quickly walked into the kitchen. He brought his attention back to them and his eyes met Valerie’s. Even from a distance, they were so piercing that her determination almost faltered. Almost.

  CHAPTER 8

  As usual, Alex was nearly incapable of keeping his eyes off Valerie. Even as she pulled her reading glasses on and was all business, he couldn’t stop the thoughts that invaded his mind. She helped herself to a plate of food from the buffet and tortured him with every bite she took. He’d always loved watching her eat. To Valerie eating was like an aphrodisiac. She loved eating and practically made love to every bite.

  He hardly heard a word she said. They were sitting at one of the booths in the back dining room that wasn’t opened up anymore, now that brunch was nearly over. It was just her, Sal and himself. No part of her was exposed except her face and her hands and he had a throbbing hard on the entire time. It was madness. Even her perfectly manicured fingers drove him crazy. All he could think of as she flayed them around haphazardly pointing from her laptop to the paperwork was the many times those very fingers had dug into his back.

  Then like a brick shattering a window, an image of her with Luke broke through into his thoughts and he almost growled. Both Valerie and Sal stopped and looked at him.

  “What the hell’s your problem?” Sal asked.

  “We can change the numbers.” Valerie started typing on her laptop. “I told your dad that. I’m just saying with property like this in this area-”

  “It’s fine.” Alex strained to speak. “The offer’s fine, Val.” Maybe if she didn’t drive him so completely insane he’d actually know what the offer was.

  “I think so too.” Sal added standing up. “Sounds good to me, Valerie. If Alex is good with it also, go ahead and send it over.”

  Sal patted Alex on the shoulder in an entirely obvious gesture that this was his chance to talk to her. He thanked Valerie for going over the offer and excused himself, explaining it was Angel’s day off and he had to relieve him now.

  Valerie stood up and started packing up her things in what seemed too much of a rush.

  “You got somewhere to be?” Someone to see? Alex’s hand fisted involuntarily.

  Concentrating on her briefcase, she didn’t look up. “As a matter of fact, I do.”

  His nostrils flared and he stood with her, not missing her flinch as he moved closer. “I was hoping we could talk.”

  “No.” She worked even faster to finish stuffing her briefcase.

  “Why not?”

  “I’ve gotta go.”

  Unable to stay away from her anymore he moved in from behind her close enough to smell her, but what he really wanted to do was taste her. She stiffened when she felt his breath against her temple. He could barely restrain himself from rubbing her back. “You can’t give me a few minutes?”

  “No,” Her tone lost a bit of its conviction.

  “I miss you so much, Valerie.” He whispered in her ear. Unable to hold back any longer, he ran a finger up her hand.

  “Stop it, Alex.” Her voice was a near whisper, but she didn’t pull her hand away.

  “Stop what?” He grazed at her temple with his lips, his insides on fire.

  As much as he could tell she struggled to hide it, Valerie trembled. She wanted it as much as he did. Why the hell was she fighting it? He stepped closer, her letting her feel just how badly he wanted her. Needed her. She stiffened immediately and he heard her breathing hitch. For a moment, she dropped her head allowing access to her neck. Without hesitation, Alex kissed it, feeling her tremble even more.

  “I can’t…” She jerked her head up and stood tall again pulling her hand and entire body away from him. “I won’t do this anymore, Alex.”

  In an instant, her briefcase was in her hand. Alex reached for her arm. “Valerie please, I just need you to know-”

  “I know, Alex.” She pulled her keys out of the side pocket.

  “That’s just it, Z. You don’t know. Hell, I didn’t even know.”

  She shook her head and began to walk away, but Alex held her arm.

  “Alex.” Her protest was forced. She turned back to him. To his surprise her eyes glistened, reminding him of that night a year ago when she fell apart before his eyes because of his stupid ass. “I asked you to stay away from me for a reason. I just can’t do this anymore. While I appreciate the business, if this is how things are going to be, I can find someone else to write up this offer.”

  “No. Valerie I just-”

  “I’m seeing someone else now, Alex. Please respect that.”

  With that, he backed up. She’d rubbed the rawest of nerves. The thought of her with Luke was the cause of his sleepless nights, and now she threw it in his face again. With his breathing now labored and feeling as if he was about to explode he nodded but asked, “Are you in love with him?”

  Valerie’s eyes widened. Sarah walked into the dining room and told her, “Just so you know, they’re putting all the food away from brunch, but I can grab you some more if you want me to.”

  Valerie shook her head and headed toward Sarah. “No thank, you. But you can walk me to my car.” She turned back to Alex, composed and all business. “I’ll have that offer in tonight. I’ll keep you guys updated. Say bye to Sal for me.”

  Just like that, he’d blown his only opportunity to tell her how he felt. He watched as she walked away, looking as elegant as only Valerie could. Damn but she drove him nuts.

  Sal walked into the dining room with a smile that dissolved as soon as he saw Alex’s expression. If his expression matched his black mood, Sal knew already things hadn’t gone well.

  “What happened?”

  “Her fucking boyfriend happened.” Alex stalked toward the back office. “She threw that shit in my face, and I clammed up. I never even got a chance to tell her anything.”

  Sal followed him. “Well, maybe you can-”

  “No, I’m done.” She hadn’t answered him about whether or not she was in love with Luke, and it nearly squeezed the life out of him. He didn’t want to know, didn’t even want to think about her anymore.

  He charged in the back room and grabbed his keys from the desk. “I’m outta here.”

  Sal moved out of his way. “Where you going?”

  Alex didn’t answer. He felt ready to kill. He needed to get out of there. Get the scent and image of Valerie out of his mind. He stormed past Angel on his way down the hall to the back exit of the restaurant.

  “Don’t do anything stupid,” Sal warned.

  “What’s his problem?” He heard Angel ask.

  “Valerie,” Sal said.

  Julie was on her way in when he bolted past her. “You okay?”

  A grunt was his only response. He walked out into the bright sunlight. When the door slammed behind him, he let out a carnal roar so loud the birds flew off the roof scattering in different directions.

  He drove in no direction for hours. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he couldn’t just give up. It finally dawned on him. No girl had ever come close to making him feel what he was feeling. His entire life was on hold now because of Valerie. There was no moving on. He needed to do something about it.

  When he finally made it home that night, he reread the message that still sat on his coffee table. What the hell was his problem anyway? Why couldn’t he just leave a damn message like a normal person? He ripped the page out of the notebook and did some more tweaking.

  He picked up his phone and dialed before he could change his mind. His heart raced at the chance that she might actually answer. She didn’t. He cleared his throa
t during her voicemail greeting and took a deep breath. It beeped and he stared at the paper in his hand. “Valerie… I’m sorry. I’ve been an ass all this time… ” He sounded like a robot to his own ears so he crumpled the paper and sat down running his hand through his hair. “Look Valerie, I didn’t even realize how much I missed you, until I saw you again... I am so sorry about everything. I know I screwed up bad. And I know you have lots of questions, but I have answers. I promise. If you’d just give me the chance, I can explain it all. All I do… ” He paused and took a deep breath. “All I do is think about you, baby… today was torture. You have no idea what you do to me. Val,” His voice dropped almost to a whisper. “Please tell me you haven’t given up on us. I’m going crazy here. Call me.”

  He clicked the phone and hung up surprised at himself. He hadn’t even realized he felt all that until the words just came out. He threw the phone down on the sofa and sat back. Frustration now clouded all the other emotions he’d felt for weeks.

  *

  Despite the fact that days passed since Valerie saw Alex again, she still felt the effects of being so close to him again. Luke was her only hope now. But every time she saw Alex again that hope slowly lost ground.

  In some ways, she was very surprised that the whole relationship thing with Luke was still working out. Luke promised he’d be discreet at the office, and so far he’d kept his promise. That really helped, because she had to admit she had been worried about things changing. They would go out on the weekend but she always claimed to be too tired during the week, her way of keeping things from getting too heavy. The night at the sports bar had been the first weeknight she spent with him. Even that had been on the insistence of Isabel.